Teenage life and the need to be understood

Have you ever wondered why teenagers here in Africa do not relate so well with their parents during their teenage years? The answer is Crystal clear, African parents though civilized still haven't allowed their mind to be renewed like the holy book would say.

Teenage years are characterized with changes in all ramifications. Let us use the word growth! Emotionally, psychologically, socially and certainly physically. The females certainly do not look the same, and not just physically even emotionally because there has been a drastic change! 

What about our boys who grow into men? But are we really focusing on the physical? A teenager has a lot of pressures imposed on him but the worst of them is that of the self. The strive to meet up to the standards, the need to please everyone, the need to feel among and be recognized, never to be seen down, lost or even recognized with failure. The teenager carries burdens that shouldn't be.

The need to come home with straight A's and then have a good report from the teachers, being watched 24/7 and not given a break, still the need to be accepted among his own! How then would one balance that? Then the unacceptable ten lettered word accepted either as attention seeking or demon possessed.

You sound depressed as a girl then, you're seeking attention and just being silly. A depressed boy? You're just plain rebellious! The sad unanswered question for fear of its response is Why?

Parents do not like to be wrong or in the dark but most importantly they do not like to be seen as incapable! So if you dare mention depression then you're insulting them! Mood swings are seen as ingratitude, failure to meet up with some of their standards is tagged as weakness and then deciding to keep friends, then you're keeping a gang!

The funny thing about those standards is that they are so unrealistic and unattainable! Yet, we teenagers bear them like they are our cross! Dare tell your parents as a lady that you have a male friend that's close, their stares will embarrass you even before their questions do.

Our parents really want our best, but they're going about it in the wrong way! The world is advancing, and so are our challenges. Depression is not something new or out of the blue, it's actually characterized with the teenage years.

Parents tend to listen like adults with no understanding and reply as adults with no comprehension of what we feel.

I am not surprised at all at the fact that teenagers would rather confide in one another than their parents.

Just like popular Joyce Meyer's book teenagers are people imply that, teenagers really are people that need to be understood, not ignored and treated as children with no understanding.

My advice to all parents is for them to listen as teenagers, empathize as teenagers would and advice as adults that have gone through the teenage phase. It would aid a lot and help curb the high rate of juvenile deliquescent out there.

Writer: Abiayi Nmesoomachim