Parental ambivalence and peer pressure

Children are often left with few or no options regarding life issues and out of no where peer pressure is blamed for the mistakes of any young adult in the society forgetting that charity begins at home. The family is the first environment a child is exposed to before getting familiar with the outside world.


The family is said to be the core source of moral values, doctrines, ethics, and standards predominantly laid out for any child before and after delivery. Most times a child's life might have been proposed (so to say); occupation, career choice, schools to attend et al.

There is nothing wrong in wanting the best for your child but depriving him the right to choose a path and course is uncalled-for (mistakes are an essential part of living, I believe we are meant to make mistakes as we grow). Every child has a dream, and they have the right to fulfill their dreams. Parents now stereotype career choices to choose from. 

A child can no longer be what he wants; do what makes him happy, chase his dreams because of family pressure to keep his father's legacy alive. What happened to the child's legacy?

The average child is taught that to be great, he has to either be a doctor, engineer, lawyer or any of the other stereotyped professions. Young children are put under enormous pressure to become like their fathers and follow the trend within their lineage sacrificing their dreams for the preservation of family history. 

Future artists are condemned, film makers and practitioners are killed before they are born, writers are silenced because they are made to believe nobody will read nor listen, the same fate awaits unborn orators and public speakers, and the likes. (I am not patronizing any career choice, I'm of the solid opinion we should be given the opportunity to do what makes us happy regardless).
Parents do not want us to be what we want to be but rather they want us to be what they want us to be.

Surviving in the outside world with the constant thought of fulfilling our parent's dream for us is one devastating experience no child should go through. 

The young child sees his peers doing things to be successful and becoming great in their choice fields but no matter how hard he tries, he does not seem to be happy, and he is not fulfilled. Now pressure is coming in from both sides; home and peers alike. He wants to please his family, and also enjoy his life.

Confusion sets in and clarity can only be gotten through thorough soul search. At this stage of confusion, the child can give in to any decision hence taking mediocre steps. He becomes a puppet in the hands of the society continuously dancing to its tunes. Only a child that is focused can be resistant to such pressure.

Are you still in doubt? Check most drug addicts, they got into their predicaments out of confusion of which way to go, how to go about it, what to do, inability to do what their parents demand, inability to keep up with societal pressures and risk been called a failure. 

They resort to drug to ease the pressure but burdens their mental health. Parents should realize children have dreams, and also have the right to fulfil them. Their jobs remain to guide us, not to change our destinies nor to orchestrate a different future for us.

At ages 5 or 6, a child becomes accountable and I feel parents should take advantage of this time and begin to prepare children for the great journey ahead with the proper orientation and exposition. 

Our dreams matter for within every child lies a thousand capabilities, they only need directions, and guidance, not someone who will discourage them or try to silence their dreams.

Help us grow, do not dim our glow. Fight parental ambivalence before peer pressure.

Writer: Abiayi Chinemerem E.